Half the village seems to be "across the water" at football matches on any given weekend... Conal Gillespie says we’re all ‘fitba’ crazy.

The yin yillschap i oor clachan maistly bes hoachin
wi' fowk efter quattin tim' oan Friday nichts.
Hooiniver, quhan A tuk the notion tae danner tae hit
oan Friday nicht las' Kenny, the bhoy at rins hit, wus
settin doon ahin the bar raidin the paiper an' aitin
es tay.  A axed quhar ivryboadie wus aa.  "Ach",
girned Kenny, "hauf the kintra bes acroass the watter
fer fitba metches.  Thaim bhoys maun hae clatters o'
tim' an' catter tae waste".  "Ye'd bae i betther
humour gif they wasted hit wi' ye", A thocht tae
maesel wi'oot sayin' ocht fer A didnae want tae pit
Ken intae wor' temper.

Kenny wusnae wrang bit fer John an' baag Tom wur awa
tae Old Trafford, Jim, Barry an' Liam wur owre i
Glesca tae gae tae Celtic, Frank an' Desi wur aa
Anfield an Billy an' Moore wur efter heidin tae
Bilfawst tae cetch the HSS an' mother tae Ibrox.  Noo
hit isnae newins fer Ulster kintra fowk tae follae
fitba teams fae athwort the sheugh.  Hooiniver, we saen
oor fitba i bleck an' quyhte oan Metch o' the Day oan
Setturday nichts.  Bhoys at hed wrocht i Inglan an'
Scotlan' an' gat tae see baag teams allus gat a
gaitherap o' young bucks fer thair yairns aboot the
reeves o' fowk aa the metches an' polismen oan horses.

Maistly the langest rin at onieboadie tuk tae a fitba
metch wus tae Bilfawst fer an' Airish Cup final.  Sim
bhoys fae oor clachan ir ganchin yet aboot Mairtin
O'Neill winnin' the cup final fer Distillery agin
Derry City i 19&70.  Noo an' agin bhoys wud plen an'
saive fer monthts tae gae acroass tae Manchester,
Glesca ir Liverpool fer a gaime. Taakin yin train tae
Bilfawst ir Larne fer the boat tae Haysham ir
Stranraer an' anither train aa the ither enn the bhoys
wud heid awa oan Thorsday nicht an' wudnae lan' hame
fer thriefower days.

Beck i the earlie 19&70s a Scotch singer hed a sang
oot cried "Fitba Crazy" wi' the line "The fitba gaime
hes tuk awa the wee bit sense they hed".  Hit's
twennie yeirs sine at Moore an' Wes mothered tae
Eglington oan the morn o' the Scotch cup final, flew
tae Glesca, gat lifted aa the airport, heided tae the
metch an' wur hame i the clachan bae nicht.  Onie they
hed the metch programme naeboadie wud hae allooed ye'd
bae fit tae quat hame, gae tae Hampden Pairk an' cum
hame i the yin day.

Hit's differ noo quhan ye can tak' a notion tae heid
tae a gaime acroass the watter oan Setturday, gae tae
the match an'bae hame the saime nicht ir stey oan an'
bae hame fer Sunday's danner.